An Officer and Her Gentleman Page 16

  Chapter Fourteen

  Isaac rushed to Avery’s side where she crouched under the table, but Foggy made it to her first. He was licking her face between sharp barks, doing his best to get his body as close to hers as possible, but it wasn’t helping.

  She shook violently, her skin pale and cold like marble, and her hands whipped at him when he tried to touch her. Finally, he was able to get her into his arms, where he held her for several minutes until the rapid heaving of her chest began to subside. He lifted her up and lay her down in the grass underneath the picnic table. Foggy draped himself over her torso, waiting patiently for her to get back to normal.

  Isaac knew she kept antianxiety medication at home, but she’d told him she didn’t need to bring it with her, that she was okay without it almost all of the time. Now he cursed himself for not insisting that she bring it along, just in case; he wouldn’t make that mistake again.

  But as he watched, Foggy began to lick her face again, and eventually her eyes lost their glaze, their iciness returning to their calm, ocean-water appearance. She noticed the dog and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close as he continued to wash her with kisses.

  Foggy worked almost as fast as medication, without the unpleasant side effects that sometimes accompanied drugs.

  Isaac’s heart nearly burst as he watched the dog take care of his person, and a thought hit him like a bullet to the chest.

  If only Stephen had waited. If only he’d stuck around for just a few more years until Isaac started this business. If only he hadn’t left before Isaac got a chance to save him.

  As Avery looked into his eyes, he felt anger flood through him like hot blood, misplaced rage at his inability to keep Stephen from taking his own life, and instead of doing what he should have, instead of comforting her and making sure that she was okay after what she’d perceived as trauma, he took that out on her.

  He grasped her forearms and forced her to look at him. Her eyes were full of fear, of him. He hated himself for that, but couldn’t stop once he’d started. All the things he’d never been able to say, all that he’d never been able to express to his brother, who’d selfishly left him here to take care of their mom, to fend for himself without a father.

  “You can’t do this to me, Avery. You can’t leave me like that. It scares the crud out of me to think I’ve lost you when you disappear on me that way.”

  She stared at him, confusion etched into her features now, her eyes huge. “It’s okay, Isaac. I’m fine. I just heard the fireworks and got startled, but look, I’m okay.” She held out her arms for him to see. “Foggy helped me and my episode lasted only a few minutes. Everything’s fine. Really.”

  “No, Avery. It’s not fine,” he shouted. He didn’t know what was happening to him but he couldn’t keep his voice down. “They should know better than to allow fireworks at something like this, where there are animals everywhere anyway, but you can’t do that to me—you can’t scare me like that. I thought I’d lost you.”

  His head spun as he fought desperately to make sense of the confusing flood of emotions darting through his brain and heart.

  “What’s the matter with you, Isaac?” she asked, and he caught the hurt in her voice. He knew he should apologize, but somehow he couldn’t form the words.

  What was the matter with him? This wasn’t Stephen. He knew that. At least part of him did, but another part...another part wasn’t able to separate the two. He’d loved his brother, yet he’d been unable to save him. No matter how much he’d wanted to, he’d never been able to heal that dark space inside of Stephen. And now...now he wondered if he would ever be able to do that for Avery.

  If he cared for her as much as he knew he did, would he always wonder about the possibility of danger, of her PTSD taking over, of the darkness winning? Would he live his life afraid of losing her?

  A small voice inside said yes. Yes, he would. And as much as it had hurt to lose his brother—losing Avery would somehow be worse. Losing Avery, he knew suddenly, would destroy him.

  “I see,” she said, her features resigned. She looked...shattered. “Look, Isaac. I laid everything out on the table when we met. You know that I have some pretty big problems—they were never a secret. Because of the way we met, I never even got a chance to decide if I wanted them to be, not that I would have been able to hide them for long. But if you can’t handle being around me, if you’re going to freak out like this whenever something happens to me, well...I can’t. I just can’t do this.”

  She crawled out from under the table as he watched, frozen in place, powerless to stop her. It was too late when he came to his senses, when he finally understood that the reason he’d lashed out was the very reason he absolutely needed her to stay.

  “Avery,” he called after her as she grabbed Foggy’s leash and started jogging away without looking back, leaving him and Jane there in the dirt. “Avery, wait!”

  But it wasn’t enough. She was gone, and it was his fault.

  * * *

  Avery had no idea where she was headed. She just ran and ran, poor Foggy jogging along beside her.

  She finally stopped when she reached the duck pond. She sat on the rock bench to catch her breath and pulled Foggy’s portable dish out of her pocket, pouring water from her bottle into the little bowl and setting it down. Foggy lapped it up quickly and she gave him more until he was no longer thirsty.

  Tears came, fast and hot, but no matter how many times she went over the scene in her head, she couldn’t figure out what had happened to Isaac back there. What on earth had made him so blistering mad at her? He’d been so out of character, yelling at her like that, and it scared her. She hadn’t understood him when he’d tried to explain why he was so upset; none of what he’d said had made sense. What was that he’d said about losing her? He wasn’t going to lose her. She was right freaking there. And she’d given him more of herself than she’d shared with anyone in as long as she could remember.

  She shook her head and pulled in deep breaths, going over the previous moments until her temples began to throb. She had no idea how long she sat there like that, staring into the water, right at the same spot that Isaac had first kissed her.

  Everything had been so perfect.

  What had she done to make it so wrong?

  “Avery.”

  His voice behind her back caused the hair on her neck to stand. She was mad at him, but still her body reacted viscerally to his nearness as he came into view, sitting beside her on the rock as Jane wandered over to stare at the ducks.

  A long silence passed before he spoke.

  “Avery, please forgive me. I don’t know what got into me back there.”

  “Well, that makes two of us, then,” she said, her voice sad and bitter.

  They sat in silence until he cleared his throat.

  “Just tell me this.”

  She turned to look at him.

  “Are you okay?”

  His eyes were full of agony, and she wanted to touch him. But she wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to do. He’d been so angry at her for no real reason, and it had challenged her trust in him.

  “Yes, I’m okay. Are you?”

  “I think so,” he said, his voice pleading. “Avery, I’m so very sorry.”

  “What was that, Isaac? What happened? Why did you blow up like that on me? I hate that you shouted at me that way.”

  He shut his eyes tight at her words.

  “I was taking something out on you that had nothing to do with you.”

  “I don’t think I understand.”

  “I was the one who found Stephen,” he said, barely able to hear his own words. “I was the one who found him after he died, and it nearly killed me. I think a part of me sees you as being fragile, like he was. And if you don’t get better, the same thing
might happen to you.”

  She put her hand on his forearm and her touch warmed his skin.

  “Oh, Isaac,” she said. “I’m not Stephen. I’m not going to hurt myself. I’ve got so much to stick around for. I’ve got you and Foggy and my family. I’m not going anywhere. Not if I can help it.”

  “I’m so sorry I lashed out at you like that, but I can’t lose you. I just can’t.”

  “I do worry, though, sometimes. It’s just that...well... I worry that I might not ever get completely better. What if I always have these involuntary responses to things, and I’m never all the way back to normal? What if I can’t ever hold down a job again? What if I’m a danger to you, or—” she swallowed “—to...to a child?”

  “You’ll lean on me,” he said. “Whatever happens, you and I will handle it together. You won’t have to be alone anymore, not if you don’t want to.”

  She thought about what he’d said, wanting desperately to tell him that everything was okay, that they should just forget about it. But she knew that wasn’t entirely true. Everything wasn’t okay, and if she was going to start a relationship with this man, to maybe start on a path to building a life with him, then she needed everything to be out in the open. She wanted everything this time—no secrets, no holding back. She knew there would always be things to be afraid of. Just like him, she was afraid of losing something precious to her, but somehow she knew they were both ready to take that risk.

  If the past few weeks had taught her anything, it was that some things were worth being afraid for. And he was worth it.

  “Look, Isaac, I want to forgive you, and I want us to get past this, but if we’re going to do that, we have to be honest with one another.”

  His eyes met hers and the threat of fresh tears choked her next words.

  “I need you to know that I’m not your brother. I’m not going to end my life.” She offered him a sad smile. “I have too much good to even think about taking that path out. But at the same time, I can’t have you treating me like I’m another project. I know you love working with people with PTSD, but somehow you have to find a way to separate me from your work. I refuse to live my life wondering if you’re just using me to atone for what you think of as your failure to save your brother.”

  He nodded, slowly, and stayed silent for a long moment.

  “You’re right about that, Avery. I didn’t see it before, but I think I may have thought of you that way at first.”

  He reached over to grasp her hands, threading their fingers together, sending sparks through her.

  “But I don’t any longer. I understand that now. In just a short time, you’ve become everything to me, and I think I worried that I might lose you just as fast. I placed the weight of Stephen’s choice on you, and that wasn’t fair. I see now that you’re your own woman, with your own life to live, and I know now that you’re far stronger than Stephen ever was.”

  She swallowed, working to hold back an onslaught of relieved tears.

  “I don’t see you as a project—I see you as a partner. Someone I want to share my world with. I think it took this situation for me to truly understand that, and I’m so very sorry that I lashed out at you. I didn’t know what to do with this new knowledge, with the realization of how much I care for you, but I do now. I want to continue helping you to train Foggy, but I also want much, much more. I will make you my world, if you let me.”

  As she looked into his eyes, she knew he meant every single word he said. In just the past few weeks, her life had changed completely, for the better, and Isaac was at the center of those changes.

  She knew he couldn’t fix her, and she didn’t need him to. She would do the work herself, and she would be the victor over her own struggles. But he was right—they could be partners. They could share their pain and joy; they could encourage each other through the worst of it and laugh together through the best. She wanted that as much as he did.

  “I’m in. But only if I can convince you that you’re not going to lose me, Isaac. I promise you that. I’m here for good.” She tickled his chin with her fingers, then pulled it so that he would look into her eyes. “Whether you want me or not.”

  Now was the time they’d both been waiting for. Now was the time to tell him how she felt.

  “I do. I do want you.” He swallowed, putting his hands on her face. “I love you, Avery Abbott. And I always will.”

  Her blue eyes filled, spilling over when she closed them. When they opened again, they were overflowing with joy, with peace.

  “I love you, too, Isaac Meyer.”

  * * *

  As they made their way back to the chaos of booths and families and food, hand in hand, a man dressed in a navy blue polo shirt and slacks—a bit formal for a 5K on a warm spring day—approached and stopped in front of them, holding out a hand.

  “Are you Mr. Isaac Meyer?” he asked.

  “I am,” Isaac said, shaking the man’s offered hand. “What can I do for you, sir?”

  “Quite a bit, I hope,” the man said, giving a little laugh.

  Isaac smiled tentatively, uncertain what was so darn funny.

  “Mr. Meyer, I’m Fred Palmer,” the man said, continuing when Isaac stared back at him with a blank expression. “Fred Palmer,” he said again, “of Palmer Motors.”

  “Oh, yes,” Isaac said, the pieces clicking into place. “I didn’t recognize you, sir. You look a little different from your TV commercials.

  Mr. Palmer laughed again and Isaac decided he liked this guy.

  “As well you shouldn’t. The wife’s had me on a diet the past few months and I’ve lost about thirty pounds, but they needed to go.”

  “Well, then, congratulations are in order,” Avery chimed in.

  Isaac apologized for not introducing them and was quick to remedy that.

  “Mr. Palmer,” he said, “This is Avery Abbott.” He turned to Avery, who stood near his side, holding Foggy’s and Jane’s leashes, and his heart nearly burst through his chest at the sight of her beautiful face. “My girlfriend.”

  She beamed at him before he turned back to Mr. Palmer.

  “Pleased to meet you, Ms. Abbott,” the older gentleman said. “I knew your father—we went to school together at Peach Leaf High, ages ago. And, may I say, thank you for your service.”

  Avery lowered her chin a little, nodding in gratitude.

  He turned back to Isaac.

  “Mr. Meyer, let’s get right down to business. I have a proposal I’d like to make.”

  “Of course, sir, I’d love to hear it. What’s on your mind?”

  A broad smile spread across the man’s face, lifting his plump cheeks.

  “Well, son, if I do say so myself, my company’s doing pretty good, and when that’s the case, I like to show my thanks to the community in some way. I wouldn’t have the business that I do if it wasn’t for the great folks in this town.”

  “That’s very generous of you, Mr. Palmer. I know Peach Leaf owes a lot to you.”

  The older man waved a hand. “It owes me nothing, son. I was born and raised here and I run a solid company. It’s in my power to give back and it’s something I enjoy doing, but that’s beside the point.”

  Isaac was beginning to realize where this was going and he couldn’t help the excited energy that sprinted up his spine. Mr. Palmer was known for his donations to local causes, and if what he’d heard about the man was even half-true, he could help a lot of people in the near future.

  “The point is, son, I’ve been watching you for a long time, and you’re doing some amazing work with vets and rescue dogs, and, well, I’ve got a soft spot for them—” he glanced in Avery’s direction “—for you.”

  Isaac nodded, his palms sweaty.

  “So, here it is. If it’s all right with you, I’d like to make a donat
ion, Mr. Meyer.”

  Isaac stifled a laugh. “Of course it’s all right with me.”

  Avery squeezed his hand.

  “In the amount of half a million dollars.”

  “Holy cow!” Avery bounced up and down with the energy of a happy child and Isaac couldn’t help but do the same right along with her before smothering their generous donor with a thousand thank-yous.

  “No need to thank me, son,” Mr. Palmer said gruffly before moving on, but Isaac caught the shimmer at the corner of the old man’s eye.

  “I’d like you to use it to sponsor as many veterans as you can, as long as you keep taking and training dogs from the local shelter. You’ve got a gift for it, Meyer, and I’ve seen how much you’ve helped the ones who serve our country—especially my own boy.”

  Isaac recalled training with Gary Palmer and his Lab, Tex, a few months back. Gary had lost his legs to a mine and was wheelchair bound. Tex had given Gary his smile back, not to mention helping him perform daily tasks with a lot more ease.

  “Thank you, again, Mr. Palmer, but Gary and Tex did all the work.”

  Mr. Palmer chuckled and Isaac nearly choked, overwhelmed at the amount of money the man had just given his organization.

  “Truly. I can’t thank you enough. You’re helping a lot of folks, Mr. Palmer.”

  “You are, Isaac. You are,” Mr. Palmer corrected.

  The old man shook Isaac’s hand again and bid them good day, promising to be in touch with the details of the donation the following Monday.

  As soon as he walked away, Avery threw herself into Isaac’s arms and peppered his face with kisses. He twirled her around and around, causing Foggy and Jane to bark at their outburst of glee.

  “Oh. My. Goodness,” Avery screamed. “Can you believe it? Half a million dollars? Half a million bucks, Isaac. Can you imagine how many people that will help?”

  Isaac burst out laughing. “I can, actually,” he said. “I’m doing the math in my head right now, and it’s...epic.”