Finding His Lone Star Love (Harlequin Special Edition) Page 14

  Jennifer seemed to consider Lucy’s words for a long moment before she hesitated. The sudden spark of hope was gone and she looked away from Lucy, turning toward the living room to pick up her duffel bag.

  Lucy sat back down on the step, but her body didn’t relax. Her spine was stiff and she held her shoulders high, even as deep sadness and disappointment filled her eyes. Her voice and demeanor challenged either of them to say anything in contest. Sam tried again to touch her, but she slapped his hand away.

  This is what happens when you love someone. You have the power to cause that person pain.

  Before he met Lucy, he would have said that love wasn’t worth it. But she had changed his mind. He knew she loved him too; he knew she wanted a family for Shiloh. Even though she had a right to, he wasn’t going to let her throw that away.

  But right now, what she needed was space.

  “Get out,” Lucy said, her voice soft and deflated. “Right now. Both of you, get out. I want you out of my sight and out of my house—” Lucy covered her eyes with her hands, and Sam saw tears begin to flow down her cheeks “—and out of my life.”

  Without a word, Jennifer picked up her bag and walked out, slamming the front door behind her. Sam lingered for a moment, wondering if there was anything in the world he could possibly say to change Lucy’s mind. There was only one thing he could try. “Lucy, I...I didn’t know until—”

  She held up a hand and he could see that she’d blocked him out completely. She wouldn’t be able to hear him until she had some time to think.

  “Please, Sam. I can’t listen to another word right now.”

  In the space of twenty-four hours, he had both fallen in love and had his heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

  And if that was how he felt, he couldn’t begin to imagine what Lucy must be experiencing.

  She needed time, and he would give her that.

  He would be back—there was nothing in the world that could stop him. But for now, he had to let her go.

  Chapter Nine

  A few days later, Lucy tried her best to listen as Dr. Blake droned on and on about an upcoming project with a group of kids from a nearby school, but for the life of her, she couldn’t make herself concentrate on a single word he was saying.

  All she could think about was Sam...and Jennifer...and Sam and Jennifer, and all the things they had kept from her. She expected such a thing from Jennifer, but Sam...Sam was another story altogether. She loved Jennifer, and understood her sister’s illness. She knew that Jennifer’s daily life consisted of a kind of pain that Lucy would never be able to fully understand. And even though she knew that maybe she shouldn’t, she gave Jennifer allowances that she wouldn’t afford other people, because Jennifer was her family, and that was just what you did for family.

  But Sam was different. Lucy had trusted Sam with her heart, with her body, with everything that she had to offer. She never would’ve expected what had happened. She had truly begun to believe that they could have a life together, the three of them—they could be a real family.

  She would probably never see Sam again.

  After what had happened, she hadn’t been surprised when he had turned in his resignation. In his favor, he had done the right thing and delivered it to her by hand, rather than by email like a coward.

  She scoffed. Even when she wanted to hate him, she couldn’t.

  And even though she wanted to forget about him, to erase him from her mind so that she could begin to fill it with other things, she couldn’t. He filled her every waking thought from the moment she got up in the morning to when she went to bed at night. And no matter what she did to prevent it, she wondered where he was, and whether or not he had gone back to New York.

  After the eruption of chaos the other day, she had gone round and round with herself wondering whether or not it was the right thing to tell Shiloh who her father was. Eventually she had decided that she would. She had had enough secrets for a lifetime, and even though Sam wasn’t going to be a part of their lives, she genuinely believed that Shiloh had a right to know. Her niece was old enough now to handle such a delicate piece of information. She sure as hell was smart enough, so Lucy had given it to her.

  Shiloh had taken the news with her usual maturity. She had been upset, of course, not because of the information, but because of what had happened with Sam. She blamed Lucy at first for not trying to get him to stay, but then she had come around and forgiven her aunt. There wasn’t any point in keeping secrets anymore. The thing that they needed to do now was to pick up the pieces and get on with their lives, just the two of them.

  There was a knock on her office door, and Lucy was relieved when Tessa poked her head around the corner. Dr. Blake looked at his watch and excused himself, letting the two women get to their lunch plans.

  “I thought he was never going to go,” Lucy said. Tessa nodded. Dr. Blake had a reputation for being a little bit long-winded, which was normally okay, but became a little less tolerable when lunchtime rolled around.

  “I’m ready for some lunch,” Tessa said. “How about you, lady?”

  “Definitely,” Lucy said, grabbing her purse out of her bottom desk drawer. “What are you feeling today? It’s your turn.”

  “I know you may hate me for this, and you can definitely say no, but I really, really want to eat at the café.”

  “No,” Lucy said, “it’s fine.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah, it’s not like he’s still there.”

  “I know,” Tessa said. “But I would understand if you didn’t want to go back there yet. The only reason I brought it up is because everybody keeps raving about the new menu and I can’t stand to hear another word about it without knowing for myself if it’s really worth all the hype.”

  “It really is okay,” Lucy said. “You don’t have to explain. Besides, I need to go down there and check on things with the new guy. I met with him several times, and he’s getting rave reviews from customers and the staff. He seems to be doing just fine on his own, but I really should drop in and see for myself.”

  That settled, the two women headed to the café and grabbed a table. Lucy went into the kitchen and chatted with the new chef for a while. She had called him back for that interview and he was a perfect fit for the small restaurant. His repertoire included a mix of classic, home-style dishes, but with enough flair to keep things interesting—much like Sam, but, if Lucy was honest, a little less creative.

  She rejoined Tess at the table just as their orders arrived. They tucked into their food. After several moments of quiet, Lucy noticed that her best friend wasn’t her usual chatty self.

  “What’s up with you? Why are you so quiet today?” She eyed Tess across the table.

  Tessa poked at her food, stirring it around into little mountains. Lucy noticed that she had barely taken a bite since they’d arrived. Tessa finally put down her fork.

  “Okay,” Tessa said. “I have something to tell you and it’s going to sound strange. It happened yesterday and I wanted to come and talk to you right away, but you were busy leading that tour, and I didn’t have a chance. That’s why I wanted to have lunch with you today.”

  Lucy gave Tessa a funny look. “We have lunch every day.”

  Tessa rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. Just listen.”

  Lucy set her own fork on the edge of her plate and folded her napkin in her lap, focusing her attention on her best friend.

  “Okay, what is it?”

  Tessa stared down into her food. “When I got home last night, I found Jennifer sitting on my doorstep.”

  “Oh,” Lucy said. “What in the world was she doing at your house?”

  Tessa’s shoulders bobbed up and down and she tilted her head to the side. “At first I didn’t want to let her in, knowing what happened to you the other day. But she insisted, and she looked so...downtrodden...so finally I did. I remember how she could be sometimes, and I didn’t want to leave her outside. She was act
ing so weird, different from even one of her manic states. She just seemed so sad and lonely.”

  Lucy didn’t like where this was going. Jennifer had spent many a night at Tessa’s home when she’d run away from her own after a fight with their parents. Lucy hated the thought of Tessa having to be involved in their family problems again. But she wanted to hear what her best friend had to say. Even if Jennifer couldn’t be a part of Lucy’s life, Lucy would always care about her sister’s well-being.

  “Lucy, she told me something that I really think you should know. It pretty much changes everything.”

  “You have my attention,” Lucy said.

  “Do you remember back when Jennifer first brought Shiloh home to you?”

  “Of course. How could I forget?”

  “Well, remember what she said about the father? About how he didn’t want to have anything to do with the baby? She said that she had talked to him, and that he had refused to be part of Shiloh’s life.”

  “Yes, I remember like it was yesterday, and now I know that the father was...Sam. What’s the point?”

  “The thing is...when Jennifer spoke to me yesterday, she said that was all a lie. She said she told you that so that you wouldn’t look into it any further.”

  Lucy looked down into her lap and noticed for the first time that she had shredded her napkin into several tiny pieces. A chill flooded through her as she remembered a moment from their argument. Just before Sam had left, he’d said something about not knowing, but she’d been too hurt to listen. She’d told him to leave, and he had done as she’d asked.

  “Lucy, do you understand what I’m saying?”

  Lucy nodded, her stomach queasy. Her brain felt as if it was going to explode with all of the information that it had taken in over the past few days.

  “It wasn’t Sam’s fault, was it?”

  Tessa nodded, focusing her wide eyes on Lucy. “Sam didn’t find out that he had a daughter until recently—just before he came here, in fact.”

  Understanding hit Lucy like a rocket barreling into earth’s atmosphere.

  Everything that hadn’t made sense about Sam’s sudden arrival in town now became crystal clear.

  That was why he had come to Peach Leaf. That was why he had pressed so hard when it came to how she parented Shiloh. He had told her the other day that he was Shiloh’s father, but she’d refused to listen when he tried to tell her the whole truth.

  It seemed that Jennifer had lied to both of them, and they had both been operating under assumptions that had no basis in fact.

  But Sam had still chosen to withhold his identity from her before then.

  “Why didn’t he tell me earlier that he was Shiloh’s father? We spent all this time together, getting to know each other, and...falling in love...or at least it felt that way, and the whole time he kept that from me. Why would he have done such a thing? I really thought I could trust him. If it wasn’t his fault, if he really only did just find out before he came here, then why did he keep that from me for so long? It would have been so easy for him to just tell me that the first day he showed up.”

  Tessa reached a hand across the table and looped her fingers around Lucy’s. “I wish I could answer that, honey. But I can’t. I can only tell you what Jennifer shared with me—that she hadn’t told you the truth because she always felt like you were the better kid, the more perfect one. She was so ashamed that she’d got pregnant so young, and that she wasn’t able to care for Shiloh that she couldn’t tell you she’d left the father out of it. She thought you would sympathize with her more if you believed he’d turned her away. But I can’t speak for Sam. There’s only one person who can.”

  It made a lot of sense, actually. Jennifer had always been so much like their mother. She’d been the passionate, vivacious one who had worn her heart on her sleeve, and let herself be vulnerable to having it broken by almost anyone who paid attention to her. Lucy’s father had been so involved in his work that he hadn’t noticed their mother’s cries for attention—or her multiple affairs. It wasn’t that he hadn’t loved his girls—he just wasn’t the type to display affection like their mother. He had difficulty relating to people. Honestly, Lucy couldn’t figure out how their parents had ever got together, much less fallen in love. They were polar opposites, and they never should have been drawn to each other.

  She didn’t want to be like her father, though. She didn’t want to lose someone she loved by shutting him out.

  Lucy sighed and dropped her head onto the table. She let out a groan. “That figures, because he’s the last person that I want to talk to right now.”

  Tessa squeezed her hand. “I know, but don’t you think you owe it to him to at least find out his side of the story?”

  Lucy wiped her bangs out of her eyes and tugged her glasses back up her nose. “Ugh. I really freaking hate it when you’re right.”

  Lucy looked up and Tessa was sporting a self-righteous face. “I know you do, but what you hate even more, honey, is that it happens so dadgum often.”

  Chapter Ten

  Sam loaded the last of his bags into the back of his rental truck, the hot Texas sun sending beads of sweat trickling down his neck. Mrs. Frederickson came up beside him and he turned to hug her one last time. The poor older woman had tears in her eyes, and Sam didn’t know whether to laugh or to join her.

  “I promise I’ll visit,” Sam said. “The apartment I’m leasing for a while is just up the road. And I promise next time, I’ll cook for you instead of the other way around.”

  Mrs. Frederickson hugged him tight before releasing him. “And make sure you let me know what happens with your girls,” she said, shaking a finger at him.

  Sam grimaced. He should’ve known better than to share such things with the woman who, he was slowly figuring out, was a notorious town gossip.

  “All right, then,” he said. “That’s everything.”

  He took a last look around and hopped into the rental truck that would take him to the apartment he’d leased until he could convince Lucy to let him back into her heart.

  He’d made a few phone calls to handle things in New York until he could go back and make more permanent arrangements.

  Funny, he thought, but New York didn’t really feel like home anymore.

  The realization that he would never have a home without Lucy and Shiloh sank like a bag of sand to the bottom of his stomach. They were his family. They were his home. If only he could find a way to convince Lucy of that. He had tried calling her probably one hundred times since their terrible fight, but she had refused to answer the phone. The truth was, he didn’t blame her. He and Jennifer had really given her a load of awfulness to deal with, and he knew it would probably take time for her to get used to that information. That was okay. He had plenty of time.

  If only he had a little more patience to go along with it.

  He started up the engine and drove out of the bed-and-breakfast parking lot onto Main Street, taking in all the shops and the restaurants he had grown to love, despite his initial reaction to the small town’s food selection.

  Still, though, the place needed a respectable coffee shop. Not to mention a decent pizza joint. Both were things he planned to address once things were right with Lucy.

  As he drove toward the apartment, he wondered what she was doing at that very moment, as he had done every second of every day since they’d met. He had thought multiple times about just going over to her house, demanding that she see him, to listen to reason. She didn’t even know his side of the story yet.

  Part of him knew that that would just make things worse. Wouldn’t it? He wasn’t going to force her to love him. She had to come to that on her own.

  But what if she never did?

  Lucy was a woman who gave everything of herself to others. She wasn’t the type to ask for something, even if she wanted it.

  What if Sam had the power to change her mind? What if he just needed to fight for her? From what he knew of her, no one had
ever fought for Lucy. People had used Lucy, had taken advantage of Lucy, abused the privilege of her love and her selflessness, but no one had ever stood up for her.

  Sam slammed his foot on to the brake pedal and his truck screeched to a stop at the side of the road.

  Calling and texting her just wasn’t enough. She needed him to be stronger than that for her. And he needed to show her that she was worth fighting for. He knew what he had to do.

  He couldn’t go another minute without seeing her again, without making her understand that he hadn’t intended to deceive her. All he had wanted, all he had been working for since they met, was her and Shiloh’s happiness. He kicked himself for not realizing it sooner. All of this that he’d been trying to do, leaving her alone, giving her time to herself, was really not helping anything. It was all due to the shameful fact that he was afraid. He was afraid that if he confronted her she might say no to a family with him, and it would destroy his life. He needed her in it, and the thought of her deciding not to be was something he couldn’t handle.

  But he had to try.

  He put his foot on the gas and turned the truck in the other direction, heading toward her house.

  This was his last chance.

  This was their last chance at real love, hope and happiness...at family.

  * * *

  Lucy and Shiloh were tossing the ball to Thor in the front yard when she saw his truck pull up. The sight of it made her catch her breath as a mix of emotions welled up into a dark cloud inside of her. She couldn’t tell if she was angry, sad or...hopeful.

  Ever since their fight the other day, she had imagined and daydreamed about this very moment. She had wanted Sam to come back so that she could ask him how he felt. Eventually, she had convinced herself that if he loved her, he would try harder to let her know. She had been evading his texts and calls for a week now, knowing that anything they had to say to each other would be completely inadequate through an electronic device.